literally obsessed with all of this. literally no hyperbole.

When the moms away the dad will sneak into a cow farm on his bike ride and take hilarious pictures @tomcatpas #wisconsin
Sep 1, 2014

When the moms away the dad will sneak into a cow farm on his bike ride and take hilarious pictures @tomcatpas #wisconsin

Dat autofocus doe. #madrespect #p90xbooty
Sep 1, 2014

Dat autofocus doe. #madrespect #p90xbooty

Aug 31, 2014 / 247 notes

spotastic:

THIS MAN LOCKED ME INSIDE HIS CAB.

Fuck this man. Fuck him so hard in the fucking face that his brain dies.

A long day of work and play and it was time to go home, so I was treating myself to a cab. One of the new Nissan Future Taxis picked me up. These things are spacious, but also have a very high separation wall, so you really don’t get a good view of the driver.  I told the cab driver to take me to Queens via the Midtown tunnel. We arrived at my destination, which is always across the street from my apartment building. I have never felt comfortable letting a cab driver know where I live. I paid the fair with a credit card. The driver told me I still owed him for the toll. I told him I have never paid separately for a toll before. He told me to wait a minute, but I did not see him doing anything, the separation wall is high.  I told him he should have added it in, I already paid the fare. He told me to wait a minute. I was feeling very uncomfortable and his behavior was feeling shady. I went to open the door and it was locked. I told him to unlock the door. He told me to wait a minute. I got LOUD and told him to unlock the door. He told me to wait a minute. I threatened to call the cops twice or more before he finally unlocked the door. I got out and walked the opposite direction. The Cab Driver got out, I turned around and he was pulling his unzipped pants up as he came around to the back of the cab. I yelled some things at him about jerking off that I can’t quite remember. They were not witty or clever, they were freaked out and coming from a place of shock.  He told me he was having me banished or some shit and was pointing to the sky.  I stepped into the street to take a photo of the license and he blocked the license plate.  My body started shaking realizing what was happening. Something I can’t prove.  But I will say it. This pile of garbage was keeping me locked inside his cab so he could jerk off with me in there. God knows if he had any other plans. I started officially walking away and called my husband and could barely get the words out. I started shaking and had to think really hard to get my body to move towards my building. Thankfully there is a median on the street I live on, so the Cab Driver could not make a U-turn and follow me. I made it to my buildings driveway and froze, a few minutes later, from a safe distance.  I saw the cab driver pass. My husband found me shivering and crying, frozen in place.

I have no proof is limp dick was in his hands while I was in the cab.

I can’t prove the door was locked and he refused to let me out.

I can and did dispute the charges on my credit card.

I can and did file a complaint with T & L commission.

If I ever take a cab again, I guess my first move is to always take a photo of their license and request the doors remain wide open while I am driven home.

FUCK THIS CAB DRIVER. 

FUCK HIM IN THE FACE UNTIL HIS BRAIN DIES.

My dad appreciates me. @tomcatpas #brooklyn #soNYC #ugh
Aug 29, 2014

My dad appreciates me. @tomcatpas #brooklyn #soNYC #ugh

To big shoutout to all my allergy sufferers out there lookin straight JACKED. #shiners #tistheseason #wheremuhmakeupat #allergies
Aug 25, 2014

To big shoutout to all my allergy sufferers out there lookin straight JACKED. #shiners #tistheseason #wheremuhmakeupat #allergies

Aug 24, 2014 / 697 notes

8.23.14 Eminem does the ALS ice bucket challenge in Detroit, Michigan.

natetatum:

Sometimes I just wanna scream
Aug 24, 2014 / 55 notes

natetatum:

Sometimes I just wanna scream

(via imfuckinbeautiful)

MAI WIFE #tallassbabes
Aug 23, 2014

MAI WIFE #tallassbabes

THERE IS NO EAGLE EMOJI 🐥#eaglesonthewarpath #divashit
Aug 23, 2014 / 2 notes

THERE IS NO EAGLE EMOJI 🐥#eaglesonthewarpath #divashit

My god what a week it’s been!!! #MAHFRAANDSS #comedy and #DICKY!!!
Aug 22, 2014

My god what a week it’s been!!! #MAHFRAANDSS #comedy and #DICKY!!!

#tbt the time I got sloppy when horseback riding with my dadz @tomcatpas
Aug 21, 2014

#tbt the time I got sloppy when horseback riding with my dadz @tomcatpas

Be still my heart!! 🐶❤️
Aug 20, 2014

Be still my heart!! 🐶❤️

Never too early for hats y’all #fall #autumnifyoureAdick #nyfw #nsfw
Aug 18, 2014

Never too early for hats y’all #fall #autumnifyoureAdick #nyfw #nsfw

#ff @susiesseniordogs because my god why wouldn’t you
Aug 15, 2014

#ff @susiesseniordogs because my god why wouldn’t you

#ff
Aug 14, 2014 / 2 notes